The #1 Job of a Christian Parent
Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
As a parent, we wear many hats in our kids' lives.
We are both CEO and janitor. We make executive decisions for the family, but we also unclog the toilets.
We are both superhero and sidekick. We often save the day (like remembering to grab THAT stuffed animal on the way out the door) but we also fetch juice boxes, snacks, and Band-Aids.
But, in all the things we do as parents on this journey of raising our children, there's no task as important as guiding their spiritual growth. Most pastors would even agree that it’s not the Church or school that can impact your child the greatest in this area, it’s you.
According to research conducted by The Barna Group, an overwhelming majority of both Protestant pastors and Catholic priests – 99% and 96% respectively – agree that parents bear the primary responsibility for their children's spiritual formation and development.
In their book Parents Guide to the Spiritual Growth of Children, Focus on the Family writes, “The plain truth is that it is our responsibility as parents to be the primary, spiritual trainers of our own children. That task isn’t reserved for seminary graduates or met only for those from a long line of faith. It is meant for every person wearing the label, mom or dad.”
But what exactly does this responsibility entail, and how can Christian parents effectively fulfill it? In this article, I will explain just how important our role as parents in the stages of our children's spiritual development is and a few mindset shifts that will help you in this role.
Understanding Spiritual Development
You may wonder, what exactly is spiritual development, and how does it relate to you and your children? The apostle John, in 1 John 2:12-14, outlines the stages of spiritual growth:
1. Infant Stage (New Christian): This stage marks the beginning of one's journey in faith, characterized by a newfound awareness of Christ.
2. Adolescent Stage (Growing Understanding): As one matures in faith, there's a deepening comprehension of spiritual truths and principles.
3. Parent Stage (Maturity and Discipleship): At this stage, individuals possess the capacity to teach and disciple others, reflecting a mature and deep faith.
Knowing these 3 stages is the baseline of understanding what spiritual development is. For young children, these stages look a bit different.
Spiritual Development Stages in Children
Children go through their own 3 stages of spiritual development that are very similar but are more age-appropriate and applicable to their personal lives. These are the 3 stages:
Understanding: At this stage, children grasp basic concepts of their faith, such as God's love and Jesus' teachings.
Growth: As they mature, children delve deeper into the fundamentals of their faith, understanding the significance of prayer, scripture, and worship.
Acting it Out: The final stage involves actively living out their faith through service to others and sharing the message of Jesus Christ with those around them.
To learn more, check out my article on the 3 Stages of Spiritual Development in Children.
Prioritizing Spiritual Growth as a Christian Parent
5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)
As Deuteronomy 6:5-7 instructs us; like we prioritize other aspects in the child-raising process, like helping process emotions, answering tough questions, and gently correcting and redirecting bad behavior, we must learn to prioritize their spiritual growth as well.
And, if you’re anything like most Christian Parents, you probably would desire that your child have a strong faith going into adulthood. Research indicates that more than 90% of engaged Christian parents emphasize the importance of equipping their children to explain the Christian faith and engaging them in acts of service, recognizing these as crucial elements for cultivating a strong adult faith.
Knowing that 1. the Bible instructs us to prioritize our children's spiritual growth and 2. you are not alone in your desire for this, you can start to begin your journey as the leader in your home that God has called you and every other parent to be. The desire is there, but how can we apply it?
3 Mindsets To Guide Your Child’s Spiritual Growth
As parents, it’s vital to equip our children to be their best, and give them tools
to know how to tend to their heart and soul early. - Peggysue Wells
1. Leading By Example
As Villa Academy aptly puts it, children possess a remarkable capacity for faith. One of the most effective ways to nurture their faith is by exemplifying it in our own lives and serving as their guide.
We've all heard the saying, "Do as I say, not as I do" and we know how far that goes (hint: not very). Children are always watching, always absorbing, always imitating, it's how God created them. This is why it is so vital that we seek Christ and practice our faith in our daily lives.
By praying and giving thanks "in all circumstances" as 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us, you are showing them your trust in God. By reading your Bible, you are setting the tone for them that the Bible is important. By serving others, you are showing them the love of Christ.
2. Be Intentional
Ephesians 5:15-17 urges us to live wisely, making the most of every opportunity to understand the Lord's will. Intentionality in our actions and teachings can profoundly impact our children's spiritual growth.
Each moment you have with your child matters. Make a plan as to how and when you are going to help implement prayer, bible reading, and small teachings. But also be intentional with free time as well, an example would be to organically ask them their thoughts on a certain subject.
I think we as parents don’t often take advantage of the times when we have our children’s undivided attention to pour into them. Perfect examples are the car, dinner, and bath time. See just how deep your relationship gets with your children once you take advantage of and are intentional with these little moments.
3. Acknowledging Imperfections
While perfection may be unattainable, authenticity is within reach. Authenticity actually earns the respect of your children even more than trying to be perfect does.
Every action and word we utter influences our children. By striving to align our behavior with Christ's teachings and admitting our shortcomings, we demonstrate humility and integrity creating a strong level of trust from our children to us.
Changing our mindset is the first and most important step in becoming our children’s spiritual guide. From there, we can give them tools and have open communication with them to help guide each stage of their spiritual development and ultimately lead them closer to Christ.
Conclusion
As Christian parents, we are entrusted with the responsibility of guiding our children's spiritual development. By understanding the stages of spiritual growth, prioritizing their journey, and leading by example, we can empower them to embrace a strong and enduring faith. Let us embrace this calling with dedication, recognizing that in guiding our children, we also enrich our own spiritual lives.
Sources
Barna Group. “Who Is Responsible For Children's Faith Formation?” https://www.barna.com/research/children-faith-formation/
Barna Group. “Parents and Pastors: Partners in Gen Z Discipleship” https://www.barna.com/research/parents-and-pastors-partners-in-gen-z-discipleship/
Villa Maria Academy Lower School “5 Ways to Encourage Spiritual Growth in Your Child” https://villamaria.org/5-ways-to-encourage-spiritual-growth-in-your-child/
Focus on the Family. “Tips to Guide Your Child’s Spiritual Growth” https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/tips-to-guide-your-childs-spiritual-growth/
Parents’ Guide to the Spiritual Growth of Children by John Trent (Author), Kurt Bruner (Author), Rick Osborne (Creator)
All Bible references are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted and are linked to https://www.biblegateway.com
Links and Resources
Parents’ Guide to the Spiritual Growth of Children by John Trent (Author), Kurt Bruner (Author), Rick Osborne (Creator)
Every Tree Has Its Place, my Children's Picture Book centered around Ephesians 2:10 teaching kids that they are made unique and God has a great purpose for their lives.
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